The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant

The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant

The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant

Make no mistake: "The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant" is a clunky, stupid, silly exploitation feature. But if you're into that kind of thing, the movie *does* deliver the goods - and the laughs. The actors - well, most of them - play it all incredibly straight. The special effects are, unsurprisingly, very crude. It all comes complete with one of those dopey songs that were so common to low budget fare of the 1970s. It hits the ground running with a quickly paced opening credits sequence, and builds to a hilariously unconvincing showdown in an old tunnel. Leading actor Bruce Dern has certainly done more prestigious films, but this movie does give him a typically nutty role. Roger is a former doctor now conducting absurd experiments. Obviously he believes that two heads are better than one, and has been grafting a second head to a number of test animals. When he guns down maniacal rapist / killer Cass (Albert Cole), his demented associate Max (Berry Kroeger) gets the bright idea to put Cass's noggin on the body of the hulking but childlike Danny (seven foot four inch John Bloom), the son of Rogers' caretaker Andrew (TV horror host Larry "Seymour" Vincent). Mayhem ensues. Adding to the fun factor is the presence of sexy Pat Priest of 'The Munsters' fame, playing Rogers' victimized wife Linda, and none other than Casey Kasem as his concerned best friend Ken. (Kasem also provides the voice of the radio announcer.) Throughout the course of this epic, Linda gets bound and gagged, caged, and carried away by the rampaging monster. Bloom is endearing, and Cole is an absolute gas (there's nothing subtle about *his* leering performance). If nothing else, "The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant" can take pride in the use of that wonderful phrase "Jekyll and Hyde joy juice". Amusingly enough, A.I.P. recycled the same basic idea just one year later with "The Thing with Two Heads", starring Ray Milland and Rosey Grier. Five out of 10.

Considering that this is a film about a mad scientist who grafts heads onto bodies to make two-headed creatures AND it's made by American-International Pictures, you certainly cannot expect the film to be much more than it is. This was cheapo drive-in movie fare and nothing more. As a result, Bruce Dern, Casey Kasem and Pat Priest (one of the Marilyns from "The Munsters") were doomed to make a film that did nothing to further their careers. The film starts with Dern and his weird assistant in the lab creating multi-headed foxes, rabbits and the like. At the same time, a depraved maniac who makes Ted Bundy seem normal is shown on a killing spree that gets him placed placed in the loony bin. Naturally these stories soon converge after the nut escapes, as the maniac attacks Priest and is shot in the process. Since he is STILL barely alive, Dern does what any scientist would do--he saws off the guy's head and stitches it onto a retarded housekeeper's body!! Now, the new and improved(?) guy consists of a slow-minded guy who does everything the evil guy wants--and that involves lots of brutal killings by 1971 standards. Eventually, there is a showdown and Dern and his abomination meet their maker--no real surprises here. Overall, the acting isn't too bad, but perhaps the maniac was too crazed to be real. I used to work in a mental institution and never saw anyone THAT crazy!! As for the script, writing, direction and acting, it's all pretty sub-par. Probably the worst of these was poor Pat Priest, who spent the movie either being attacked, tied up, screaming or fainting--a truly one-dimensional and thankless role. Not a good movie but silly enough that bad movie fans might like it. As for everyone else, don't bother.

This is not an easy one to watch, long spaces of dialog, some poor acting and not enough good campy acting, etc. I can't say I hated the movie, I did laugh at a lot of parts, but ultimately it was nothing memorable. Bruce Dern looks stoned in most his scenes and sometimes cannot be understood because he's mumbling. Casey Kasem has a surprising amount of work to do in this film compared to other films I've seen him in like "Angels Unchained". Surprisingly, he's not that bad. Unfortunately it's one of the few surprises in the film. The plot is very stale 1930s era mad scientist hokum. It's pretty sad when you have to say that "The Thing with Two Heads" is a relatively creative movie, but it's true when compared to this one. The plot is identical with "Donovan's Brain" and any number of generic mad scientist plots. Dern is a guy who has developed a technique for grafting one animal's head on another animal. DJ Kasem plays a doctor (although, oddly enough, whenever you hear a DJ on the radio in the film Kasem provides the voice for the DJ as well) who is an old college friend of Dern's, and Dern shows him his laboratory set-up with all its two headed rodents, monkeys, foxes, and rabbits, declaring his intention to soon use it on humans. Kasem seems oddly unalarmed, simply exchanging pleasantries with the wifey and Dern and promising to come up and visit at a later point in the film. The human experiment subject ends up being a brain damaged worker on Dern's ranch, whose father has just been killed by a homicidal rapist. Neither Dern nor his assistant (Berry Kroeger, who had a very suitable face kind of reminiscent of Peter Lorre's) seems to think about the fact that if they put a psychotic head on another person's body, they will simply create a psychotic monster. Didn't they ever watch "Frankenstein"? Geez! BAD BRAINS! Speaking of the psycho killer, Al Cole who I believe played him has to be one of the worst actors I've seen in a relatively "big" B movie like this. If the movie ever had any chance of working as a scary movie, Mr. Cole's unbelievably over the top performance would have ruined that. His way of communicating his lust is to literally lick his lips and bulge his eyes out. It's an embarrassing performance that could have been fixed sooner as soon as the first rushes came in, but the director either wasn't skilled enough or didn't care enough to fix the problem. This film could have benefited somewhat from having its tongue a bit more in cheek. Everyone seems very serious, which would be fine if it wasn't such a tired plot and a standard script, standard direction, etc. There's really nothing scary about the monster anyway, the only people he kills are some bikers who nobody cares about in the first place and a couple schmoozing teenagers. In a film where the horror fails and there is no camp, you have basically a wasteland which would bore 99.9% of film viewers. The only laughs here are un-intentional and they are few and far between. There isn't a lot of gore or sex exploitation either, at least not in the print I saw which was actually an archival print. So not much to recommend here. Rent the one with Rosey Grier and Ray Milland instead, unless you're a big fan of Casey Kasem or Bruce Dern and you want a few cheap laughs sprinkled through an awful film.

I am not sure if this is the worst movie ever made but it could be the worst I'v ever seen. Its not that the acting is bad or the script in no good...its a combinationof everything. Why does the crazy doctor's wife tolerate being locked up in a cage and then worry about his memory being besmirched at the "tragic" end of the movie?

A maniacal killer's head is fused to the lumbering, gargantuan body of a man with the mind of a small child by a scientist who just happens to specialize in fusing two-headed creatures in his spare time. Why? He says to show everyone what a genius he is. Why on Earth would anyone want to create a monster with two heads - neither containing the brain of anything remotely resembling worthiness? Such is the premise in this bizarre, fascinating, and God awful film made in 1971. Bruce Dern plays the "mad" scientist with decided disinterest. Can you blame him? He strolls around with drink in hand and never shows any real depth of character. By the film's end, his performance just caves in. The two-headed monstrosity, which battles bikers on bikes wielding chains and has a cumulative IQ of 60, is a true sight of ineptitude to behold. John Bloom, who would later get an even worse role as Frankenstein's Monster in Al Adamson's horrendous opus Dracula Vs. Frankenstein, plays Danny - a hulking man that lost his mind when he was left for dead in a mine shaft years ago. Now an adult, Danny is dutiful to his father, is treated like a mental defective by all concerned, and sweats a lot. The head of Albert Cole, a man who we see leering or laughing with crazy glee, is attached when Cole tries to rape Dern's wife(more on her in a minute) and kills Danny's father. Dern and his limp-wristed former surgeon assistant(Barry Kroeger) feel the time is right to make a two-headed freak with the body of Cole at their disposal and the mentally deficient Danny just there. This movie is a real hoot to sit through as every minute in bad - bad but fun. The story stinks. Director Anthony Lanza has little savvy. The production values virtually non-existent(although the head thing looks better here then some of the other two--headed monsters of the same era). Acting? What acting? C'mon - Casey Kasem as a doctor/hero? Dern looks like he lost a bet and had to be in the picture. Cole is annoyingly disgusting and ridiculous. Bloom is okay at best. But I really liked Pat Priest as Dern's wife. She sure didn't give a great performance, but she made a believer out of me as she fainted(several times), ran from crazy Cole, lounged in a chair by the pool, laid in bed either of her own accord or bound and gagged, and finally was tied and put in a cage in the lab - all in either a bikini, a small nightie, or some other light attire that showcased her attributes, the brightest things about this dreadful dreck. This movie is very, very bad, and I must confess I loved every minute of it. I laughed and laughed and laughed. Just hearing that soundtrack where every beat foreshadows something suspenseful will happen and rarely does. Or how about the dialog used in the picture? Whew! This is one of the all-time great of le bad cinema.

A mad doctor (Bruce Dern!!!) adds the head of a homicidal maniac to the body and head of a very big mentally-retarded man. The creature escapes and you can guess the rest. Truly horrible, sick horror film with an incredible amount of blood, sadism and sexual content for a PG rated film. The script is full of howlers and has severe continuity problems--at one point Dern and his wife (Pat Priest) are seeing a friend out to his car. It's mentioned a few times that it's late at night, but it's clearly bright and sunny outside! Also there is noisy, loud "music" in the soundtrack that will set your teeth on edge. As for the acting--Dern looks miserable (no shock there!) and walks through his role. Poor Pat Priest! As his wife she's given nothing to do but be a victim or a sex object. She's assaulted (while in a bikini), is tied up (while in a very small nightgown), drugged, hit and locked in a cage! The woman somehow maintains her dignity. Casey Kasem (!!??!!) plays a best friend (badly). And John Bloom as the mentally-retarded man gives new meaning to the word "wooden". Everybody else is ever worse! Bad dialogue, terrible acting, lots of gratuitous violence (at one point a person's face is blown away!) and sex. It's almost bad enough to be good but it's in such incredibly bad taste. And there's a title song (!!!) sung by the immortal Bobbie Boyle. Utter trash. Skip it.

Call me demented but I loved this absolutely silly piece of 1970s Drive-In schlock! Director Anthony M. Lanza only made one other movie as far as I know, one I've been wanting to see for years, a 60s biker flick starring Dennis Hopper and Casey Kasem called 'The Glory Stompers'. Kasem returns in this one to play the concerned best friend of "mad" scientist Dr. Roger Girard played by cult favourite Bruce Dern (Kasem and Dern had previously played brothers in another 60s biker movie 'The Cycle Savages', a trash classic I highly recommend.) Dern, just like those scientists in 'Donovan's Brain', has his own lab in his home which he conducts his own private research, assisted by his crippled mentor Dr. Max ('Demon Seed'). Research, by the way, involving head transplants. So when a psychopath (Albert Cole) escapes on a rampage and kidnaps Dern's pretty blonde wife (Pat Priest of 'The Munsters'), it doesn't take long to figure out that the Doc is going to be operating on him soon. Especially when there is a handy mental defective (John Bloom, from 'The Hills Have Eyes 2') available (his caretaker's son). Now Bruce Dern is one of my favourite 1970s actors ('Bloody Mama', 'Silent Running', 'The King Of Marvin Gardens'), and I'd watch him in just about anything, but this must be the stupidest movie he has ever been involved in! Disinterested viewers who don't enjoy 60s and 70s exploitation and monster movies may find it just TOO stupid to get into, but I thought it was an absolute hoot, and loved every minute of it!