rff

t

source: Queen of Outer Space

A spaceship with a four-man crew crash-lands on Venus. There they find the planet is inhabited solely by women, who take the men prisoner believing them to be the first wave in an invasion by Earth. The women are ruled by masked Queen Yilana, who hates men and blames them for the disfigurement of her face. Not all of the women on Venus are man-haters, though. A group of resistance fighters, led by Talleah (Zsa Zsa Gabor), plan to rescue the astronauts and overthrow Yilana. I love this movie. It's so much fun. It has lots of cheesy appeal and comic value, both intentional and otherwise. It's so ridiculously sexist and outdated that you can't possibly take it seriously unless you have a stick up your rear the size of a redwood. Also, it's a '50s sci-fi movie so it has that charm about it. I love the colorful costumes, sets, and props. The cast is good. Zsa Zsa is memorably bad in the best way. Eric Fleming and Paul Birch play it straight, which helps make the whole thing that much funnier. Dave Willock is always a treat. But it's Patrick Waltz that gets the best (and most sexist) lines. A fun sci-fi movie that everyone should be able to enjoy on some level. Just take your serious hat off for awhile.

Four men on a space ship -- ramrod Captain Neal Paterson (stolid Eric Fleming), smooth ladies man Lt. Larry Turner (smarmy Patrick Waltz), jolly Professor Konrad (a delightfully lively Paul Birch) and antsy comic relief Lt. Mike Cruze (annoying Dave Willock) -- land on the planet Venus and discover that men have been outlawed and women reign supreme. The wicked and hideously disfigured Queen Yllana (juicily played to the hissable hilt by Laurie Mitchell) plans on blowing up the Earth with her Beta Disintegrator. Meanwhile sympathetic scientist Talleah (a perfectly vampy Zsa Zsa Gabor, whose heavy accent acts as a key source of often sidesplitting unintentional humor) and her fetching female cohorts want the guys to themselves. Boy, does this legendary lemon possess all the right wrong stuff to qualify as a total sidesplitting camp classic: ham-fisted (non)direction by Edward Bernds, a poky pace, a cheerfully dopey, talky script by Charles Beaumont, paltry (markedly less than) special effects, a ridiculously serious tone, lush, bright, vibrant widescreen color cinematography by William P. Whitley, hot babes in skimpy outfits, laughably bad dialogue ("Hey, you kids play rough!"), groan-inducing sexist humor, a generic spooky'n'shivery score by Marlin Skiles, largely lousy acting, a surprise appearance by a hilariously hokey rubbery giant spider, and a rousing fiery conclusion. Better still, there's a clunky sincerity evident throughout that's both amusing and endearing in equal measure. A real gut-busting howler.

"Vimmen cannot be happy vizout man!" Thus spake Zsa Zsa Gabor, the most unlikely sci-fi heroine of the fifties. And I guess she'd know. Swanning around the Venutian landscape trailing yards of tulle - she has apparently learned nothing from Isadora Duncan's grisly demise - its up to Zsa Zsa to save the earth from obliteration from what appears to be a ready-to-assemble treehouse. If logic were the order of the day here it would be patently obvious from this that we're all a-goner. Happily, logic has nothing to do with it; the Venus La Gabor inhabits bears no resemblance to anything in our solar system. Not for the first time in movie history - I'm thinking "Fire Maidens from Outer Space" here - Venus turns out to be the province of buxom, slightly past their prime showgirls, and there's nary a man in sight. Why? Well, once upon a time the men folk started a nuclear war which caused many of the women, including the planet's ruler, to suffer hideous facial scars. Suitably stung, the men were banished to a nearby satellite; meanwhile the queen wears a stupid mask and the women evidently pass their time doing their hair. In each coif there's never a strand out of place, and somewhere on Venus somebody's doing a roaring trade on fire-engine red lipstick. Things get sticky when a whole lot of Earth astronauts land on Venus, bringing with them the sets and props for "Forbidden Planet". (Even Anne Francis' gowns get a second outing from the #2 Venus babe. No hand me downs for Zsa Zsa though!) The women are at first hostile, but the natural order is restored when Zsa Zsa takes the helm, and long before the fadeout all is goo eyes and closed mouth kissing. The men are asserting their superiority, the women are all "dames", no doubt scuttling back to the kitchen, and those who showed even the smallest trace of backbone - ie the baddies - are all safely dead. Its hard to say whether Zsa Zsa thought this was her big break or whether she knew how hilarious the whole thing is. At any rate she dominates the proceedings, which is no mean feat seeing as she has some of the silliest sets, dialogue and special effects to compete with. People who claim that Marilyn Monroe was never given a chance to extend her dramatic range might consider taking up Zsa Zsa's cause as well. I can see her now in a 1956 remake of "Mildred Pierce" in bright, bright Technicolor. For the time being, enjoy what's on offer. "I hate zat qveen!" snaps our star. Ah, but how the queens love you Zsa Zsa.

Bochino! Bochino! I finally got to see this movie in color after recently renting it. I remember watching it many times in black and white as a kid on a local New York channel. The evil queen's disfigured face is even more effective in color! This is another "you really have to see it to believe it" flick. Tongue in cheek all the way. What other movie offers mini skirted Venusian women in high heels, giant phony spiders, incredible dialgue, and wide beamed Zsa Zsa Gabor all rolled into one?? So, "bochino, bochino", check out this dandy for the campiest film experience of your life!

"Queen of Outer Space" has been unkindly described as a deliberate parody of sci-fi cliches, but the director wasn't in on the joke. Fans have been debating for years just what the intentions of Ben Hecht and Charles Beaumont were in penning this much-reviled space adventure. Surely both writers were capable of much better work. Surely Zsa Zsa Gabor as a Venusian space maiden was a piece of casting nobody expected to be taken seriously. Surely director Edward Bernds must have known the score. This is the man who directed the Three Stooges. He knows a joke when he sees it! Yet, in interviews, Bernds insists that the film was intended to be taken straight. Even a casual examination of the finished product makes this hard to believe. The first half of the film seems to be skewering the stereotypical male/female relationships found in pulp sci-fi cinema of the day. But after the captain rebuffs the evil queen's advances and the plot turns to action, the film starts taking itself seriously and its sense of goofy fun dissipates quickly. But, in fairness to Bernds: if he wasn't in on the joke, neither were any of his cast, who perform with earnest sincerity throughout. Although the film was made by Allied Artists (Monogram after their name change), some expense seems to have been spent on it: it's in color & Cinemascope and the sets, although gaudily and colorfully fake, are extensive. Perhaps most tellingly, AA released it as a single feature, clearly a sign of confidence (or misplaced optimism) in those days where double-features were standard for B-films. In hindsight, the question of deliberate parody may never be answered. Because of the film's reputation, those involved in the production were undoubtedly anxious to rewrite history to salvage their professional reputations. Favorite scene: Zsa Zsa's attempt to impersonate the queen by donning her mask and issuing orders in her imperious and distinctive Hungarian accent, then being shocked when the ruse fails.

I saw this film on late night TV as a youth and thought it was the coolest movie I had ever seen. Of course at that time, the coolest movie I'd ever seen was usually the most recent one. But there was something eerie and scary and exciting and fun about QOOS...... the hideous queen with her mask, the statuesque women of Venus, the death ray, the giant spider-beasts..and Zsa Zsa. Of course, now I see the film for the campy delight it is and was intended. It's so-bad-it's-good and I own a copy of it and watch it when I need a laugh. The lines from the wolfish astronaut is so brutally oafish that I can't believe it was delivered with a straight face.

It's not a bad idea to watch "Forbidden Planet" before seeing "Queen of Outer Space". Beyond the obvious rip-offs of props and design, I give this film higher marks than "Forbidden Planet" for its blatant 1950s sexism. You could almost write a essay comparing them. Viewed from 2005, it's quite funny. *spoilers ahead* In "Forbidden Planet" you have the protective father in Walter Pigeon, giving away his daughter Anne Francis like a bride to Leslie Nielsen, captain of his all-male space crew. In "Queen of Outer Space" you have a similar bunch of space sailors ogling every attractive woman on Venus (and there are many). And the Queen's "tragic flaw" is obvious and symbolic of her inner self. Then when you've reached the point of testosterone-saturation, go watch "The Stepford Wives".