Beach Babes from Beyond

Beach Babes from Beyond_720p(480P)

source: Beach Babes from Beyond

Watched this for the funny casting. I did chuckle quite a bit at the thought of the advertising posters for this clunker. Stallone, Swayze, Travolta, Estevez! However, the film is terrible. It consists of a handful of scenes, some of which are stretched out to 10+ minutes. Take away the soft-* sex scenes and 'extras dancing at a beach party' scenes, and you're left with about 15 minutes of film. Estevez is actually not too bad as the beach bum uncle. The rest of the cast were awful.

And I'm all for a sci-fi sex comedy. The * are fake, there are these interminable beach dance sequences, and... it's got Joe Estevez. Worst of all, nothing about this movie is funny. At all. Oh man, then they wedge in all these horrible songs (I couldn't find any music credits, probably intentional). I watched the "uncut" version, running a whole 79 minutes (and I did a lot of clock watching). Everything about Beach Babes From Beyond is gratuitous, and carries on entirely too long. So it really makes me wonder, where does the censorship begin and end, and how much is too much? It is a short movie, full of excess. I loved the opening credits sequence. Fully naked chick in the shower, for as long it takes the credits to roll. Some nice outfits and bikinis, and that's all I got. Plot is asinine, sub plots come out of nowhere. I dunno, try Space Babes From Outer Space. That is a genuinely good time, the plot is funny (and is an excuse to include sex), and there are fetching ladies in foxy outfits, as well as various states of undress. Likely done on a fraction of the budget this one had.

Of course it is silly and there are some annoying performances and a minimal plot that still manages to appear superfluous but it is still likable. Everybody seems to be enjoying themselves and it looks good most of the time. The music can be annoying, about four songs repeated throughout the film, and yet they are pretty catchy. The pre-credit sequence features Mrs Stallone and there is a fine shower scene behind the credits, so things start just as you might imagine and continue. All the girls seem to wear bikinis or less all the time and the guys don't seem quite as goofy or old as they often can in these type of films. Joe Estevez is a bit annoying but Linnea Quigley, past taking her clothes off in this is very good indeed. Biggest surprise of all was during the big bikini contest as we watch the girls writhing rhythmically in close-up, the song, I kid you not seems to be entitled, 'I Got A Woody'. there is no way back from that and all quickly comes to a satisfactory end. Spirited.

Three hot babes from outer space show up on the California coast and get it on with some local surfer dudes. They also enter a bikini contest in order to help laid-back cool older guy Uncle Bud (amiable Joe Estevez) out of a jam. Director David DeCoteau relates the enjoyably inane story at a zippy pace, maintains a likeable lighthearted tone throughout, presents a bevy of tasty bikini-clad honeys, and delivers a satisfying serving of yummy bare female flesh along with some sizzling soft-core sex. This film further benefits from a neat cast made up of familiar B-flick faces and relatives of famous folks: Linnea Quigley as the snarky Sally, Joey Travolta as affable health nut Dr. Veg, Burt Ward as decent rich dude Mr. Bun, Nikki Fritz and Angela Cornell as two of Sally's models, and Don Swayze and Jackie Stallone as squabbling parents. Sarah Bellomo, Tamara Landry, and Nicole Posey are super sexy and appealing as the titular alien babes. The catchy and energetic soundtrack keeps things bouncing along. Good silly fun.

Three bubble brained space bimbos decide to visit Earth. They do so by crash-landing their spaceship in California, where they meet three surfer dudes, who for once, aren't totally unlikeable. All this... action is interspersed with typical boring softcore sex scenes. These scenes could have been borrowed from any other '90s softcore flick and you wouldn't even notice. Some of them don't even seem to feature any of the characters, just random b-actors, ie. out of work male fitness models, and women with breasts that look like they're made out of plaster. At least with softcore flicks like this one, I know I can stop paying attention during the sex scenes without missing anything, because they always go on a while. One of the space-babes proves her extraterrestrial origins by pulling a net off her unconvincing 'spaceship', convincing the surfer dude instantly. The dude apparently didn't notice this large vehicle was right there on his right - surprising, considering the net the bimbo pulls off of it is nowhere near large enough to keep it concealed; there is no possible way he couldn't have noticed it. Linnea Quigley is also in there, as a lady who knows a photographer and hangs around a mansion. She ties one of the girls up, for some reason. I guess it wouldn't be a b-movie set on the beach without a musical number that just goes on forever. This might be a rarity in that the band is made up of bikini babes as well, indistinguishable from the ones dancing on stage. The awful song drones on for what seems like forever, but there is surprise nudity at the end. "Beach Babes from Beyond" was directed by David DeCoteau, a b-movie maven who produced a bunch of enjoyable exploitation flicks in the '80s before turning his hand to increasingly homoerotic, mass profuced fair in the new millennium. He is now famous for the awfulness of his contemporary material - which makes "Beach Babes" look capable by comparison - and the fact that all of his movies feature young men in their underwear. "Beach Babes" is unfortunately not even one of the better of his early period. Perhaps, when this was produced, his best years were already behind him, but he hadn't found a market for his homoerotica yet.

Is this a bad movie? Of course, what were you expecting from a movie called "BEACH BABES FROM BEYOND"? It is a "BABES in BIKINI" movie and has no pretensions of being otherwise. Given, this is not "A ROOM WITH A VIEW" or "SCHINDLER'S LIST." If you wanted a film like "A Room With a View" then you would not be looking at Beach Babes from Beyond. But if you are looking for a good Babes in Bikini movie with almost no plot, this is the one for you. This flick delivers on what it promises and then some. It is pure 100% adolescent fun. There were lots of BABES in and out of bikinis. The movie was quite funny and great to watch. These were some of the most beautiful women I have ever seen on home video. Every high school kid should watch at least one bad movie like this. This is actually one of the most memorable movies I have ever seen. So unashamedly, I say again...If you are going to watch only one "Babes in Bikini" movie, this is it.

Take the old hokey beach movies from the first golden era (the next is the 80's) and put the girls in some hot 80's fashions (thongs), throw in some very tame soft-core sex, and play even worse music and you have an hour and a half of great mindless fun! The leg and ass lovers of the world would want to have this in their permanent collection! (Breast men won't be disappointed either). If someone would just do a decent job of this in hard core, I would be in heaven. If you want oscar level performances in your movies, your brain will have a meltdown if you even attempt to watch this movie.