Moviecut—One-Eyed Monster

source: One-Eyed Monster

They are being very serious in the movie, and that just makes it all the funnier. Talking about alien dicks wouldn't be funny unless you were serious, which they were. Especially when Napier's character started talking about fighting his captain's dick in Vietnam, he killed it by using whores to have sex with it so it would have to rest. Then he through it in a bunker and tossed a grenade in, when he started talking about it raining dick I just lost it, very funny, especially the black guy and the nerd. Ron Jeremy wasn't a good part of the movie, good thing he died in the beginning. This is a good movie for someone mature who wants some laughs, there are a lot of bad b movies out there but this one is about an alien taking control of Ron Jeremy's dick, which makes it all the funnier.

There were two scenes in the film that were funny. The first came when the *&#%^ just killed some chick by flying into her mouth. A group of the girls(remember, they're all * stars) found her in that state ran to another cabin to tell everyone that they found a ($%#% in her mouth, and there was NO reaction. Definitely funny. The problem with this film is that there were a million jokes they could have used like the one above, but the film just isn't very funny at all. It was really difficult to get through. I was prepared for the low-budget production values, and I don't shy away from movies or dislike them for that characteristic alone, but this film just didn't capitalize on it's brilliant premise. While watching the film I was thinking of all the of ways it could have been better... unfortunately, this film is not funny enough to score any higher than this. 2, maybe 3 funny moments just doesn't fill 90 minutes. Bring in the Evil Dead bunch, re-cast Ron in his role here, maybe even add Adam Green as a director, and boost the comedy and horror aspects of this movie while still keeping it silly, and you'd have a real winner. Not funny enough to gain the cult status that the storyline led me to believe I might find. Great idea... heck, fantastic idea... poor script considering the endless possibilities. I'm no filmmaker or comedian, but even I could have made this infinitely funnier. You want a better film with a similar premise - try "Teeth" or "Chillerama(wadzilla segment)".

Hard core * legend Ron Jeremy's disembodied shlong goes on a rampage attacking the cast crew of an adult movie shoot in a mountain cabin. In order to stop the fiend they will have to band together and somehow pulverize it. While Ron is urinating, an alien life form falls from the sky, entering his body, using his nine plus inch pecker as a tool to supposedly "seed the earth", but it instead kills most of the human hosts it penetrates due to it's powerful force. The beast's Achilles heel is once it blows it's load, it must rest. This resting period(..refractory period)is when it's most vulnerable for attack. The crew will need to corner it, somehow getting the * to get off so that it can be chopped into pieces. This will not be an easy task. Murderous sex gags galore and * jokes aplenty, along with playful jabs at the * industry. Not as lurid as you expect by reading the synopsis, and we only see one pair of tits with no explicit sexual activity on screen. This is more a gore comedy with vulgar language, most appropriate in regards to the industry this film conveys(..in other words, most of the language is of a sexually explicit kind). Ron Jeremy(..recognized as his first film, introduced to the mainstream audience)has a limited screen time, which might disappoint his fans. Veronica Hart, however, has a little more to do, and her "talents" lend a hand to possibly upending the killer *. Ron and Veronica have a touching moment discussing their "over the hill" stature in the industry. Hart's skill, special for holding her men at bay without their ability to ejaculate, is played to the hilt. But, it was Charles Napier, as a mountain man who understands a little about what it going on, who had me in ribbons..just wait until he discusses to the group how his platoon were slaughtered by a similar killer dong! Jason Graham is a crew member, a soldier during the Gulf War, who assumes the leadership role, Amber Benson(..Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the series) as a make-up girl in love with Ron, and Jeff Denton is the sleazy, cowardly a$$hole director * casts love to hate. Rounding out the cast is Caleb Mayo as a MacGyver-like genius whose "neural tactile simulator"(..a dick massaging machine programmed to feel like the orifice of whomever is chosen!)comes in handy, Bart Fletcher and Jenny Guy as young * actors, and Carmen Hart as an actress who gets to worst kind of head imaginable.

A hostile alien wreaks havoc on the cast and crew of an adult movie. I think the plot of this film more or less explains why it is such a great horror comedy. Ron Jeremy is taken over by an alien, his * detaches itself... and then it starts killing people. I guess you could screw this up, but they did not. The film revolves around jokes -- dozens and dozens of jokes. You might think after two or three * jokes it would get stale, but it never really does. Combined with a fair amount of gore and just a hint of sex, it keeps your attention and your laughter throughout. (For a film about a bunch of born stars, the nudity is very tame -- only one person is even partially naked, and then only for a minute.) Oh, and Charles Napier. Wow. A serious actor, with plenty of solid credits behind him... and he appears in a film where he not only fights a *, but delivers one of the greatest monologue ever spoken about aliens in Vietnam. Priceless. This speech alone is worth the view.

Humor in * is usually stupid as hell. It's almost as bad as fashion peeps trying to be funny. This was in my netflix queue mainly because a friend has a part, and I wanted to check it out. I live in the middle of nowhere now and wanted to see a familiar face. Anyway, I expected it to totally suck, but ended up giggling through the whole thing. Kind of reminded me of cabin fever in its silliness. Where it lack compared to cabin fever (among other things) is a real punch line at the end. I hope these guys keep making movies though. They're clearly smart and funny. Keep 'em coming guys! (forgive the ubiquitous pun)

i have only seen this once before, the last time i saw, it was silly and fun. Now seeing for second time, it feel a little tame the second times around, the jokes are still funny. Which the over the top plot, i did notice there not much gore in this movie at all, i didn't not like the fact some of the deaths scenes were off screen. did chuckle at one deaths scenes that was on screen and when that tailwager attacks the victims at first was funny, it got a bit boring as the movie went on. I really enjoyed some references to other horror pass horror movies, which were fun to watch The acting from whole cast was really good, as they made even more silly and fun to watch. 6 out of 10 for

The crew shooting a * film head toward on old cabin in the middle of nowhere, not knowing some manner of alien is planning to invade the earth by using the genitalia of one of their members. Premise seems interesting, but unfortunately the final product while entertaining, is still far away from what could have been. Naturally the movie doesn't take itself seriously but it never feels like its using its full potential. Pretty strange how those rare occasions where nudity and sexual situations are central to the theme, there's actually less than many films where such things feel completely gratuitous. The characters, thankfully have some effort put into them, without the movie getting depressing as victims are killed off. For what its worth, this movie is far superior to "Penetration Angst" and "Teeth", although that's not saying much.

Have you ever giggled for 90 minutes? I just did while watching this movie. Whoever paid to make this, thank you. May it live as a midnight movie forever. Is it silly? Hell yes. Is it smart? Very. Scary? Not particularly, but this is a comedy first and foremost, and on that level it succeeds brilliantly. The actors are first rate, even the unknowns, but I have to say that Charles Napier steals the show with an unforgettable monologue that is clearly a nod to Robert Shaw in "Jaws" and Amber (Buffy the Vampire) Benson is effective as always. Yeah, there's not enough nudity for a movie about a killer * and * stars, but I can see nudity from a thousand * sites. Only a select group of movies can make me laugh, though, and this is one of them, so I'll take the trade-off.