Call Girl of Cthulhu

😂😂😂😂

Do you miss 70's and 80's grindhouse-style horror flicks with some 80's and 90's nihilism, mixed with real creature design and nearly no CGI? Do you miss when *, sex, and blood were in your cheesy horror movies? Do you miss when movies werent afraid to lean into camp? Boy howdy do I got the movie for you!!! I ran across this one on A-Z prime because it was on my recommended watch-list. I didnt check reviews or anything else, as the title was what drew me in. I'm glad I went in blind! I wont give a synopsis, but the movie is exactly what it shows itself to be. A call girl is possibly the catalyst for what brings Cthulhu back into our world. This flick could have been trimmed down a little, but even with its excess, it feels like it revels in it rather than just rushing from plot point to plot point. That is not to say this movie is dull or boring, as it pretty steadily keeps a solid pace for its running time. There IS a lot of what is NOT in current horror movies: Blood, swears, *, sex, violence, animatronics and practical effects, amongst others, are littered throughout this movie in a fantastic way. You can really feel the vision they were going for and they executed it quite well. The actors were not amazing, but they were proficient for this B-style movie. They play their parts well, and a few of them shine. It all mostly works for this script/film. They werent hamming it up, but you could tell all of the actors gave it their all with lots of gusto and enthusiasm. The sound seemed to be taken from the raw audio many times without someone doing sound effects, which is both a blessing and a curse since some sounds do not match the tone they are going for. The locations, for the most part, felt real and natural. The apartment of the main character feels very lived in and real for the two inhabitants. Dont expect mind-blowing CGI or special effects as this is basically a well-done B movie. The practical effects were serviceable, but again, do not expect a $50 million dollar movie here. For instance, the masks of the Cthulhu cultists are just pieces of cloth cut into strips halfway, BUT IT WORKS!!! The cultists masks were mostly creepy. If you've gotten this far and are still curious, give this flick a go!!! Check it out and you should be pleasantly surprised! This was a fun little 'horror' movie with few scares but lots of "ick", as any story about Cthulhu should be. This movie was more enjoyable and fun than most movies I've seen in the 6 years since this was released. I'd give it a 6.5 rounded up to a 7 as I felt this movie deserved the bump-up, with points deducted for some of the unnecessary length and side plots that only exist for the sake of gore. The ending was very 'Stephen King"ish but overall left me wishing for something a little more. As a side note: They do a lot of match-cuts, which at first is refreshing because a lot of movies do not even bother with this anymore and jump from scene to scene, but it becomes a smidge excessive towards the end.

What is your take on cults and demons? And more importantly: do you have problems with humor being added to a horror movie? That question is the most important one of course, since this is using a lot of humor. If that works, will be up to you and your sensibilities. The effects are quite nice. You have a lot of violence, some nudity and a lot madness to endure while watching this. Something that should hopefully come easy to you. If not you will not have any fun watching this ... at all. Low budget as it can be - you have to dig its vibe. You will know early on. Don't blame the movie - if you sat all the way through it and didn't like it.

At this point, Lovecraftian horror doesn't need to be taken seriously. It's fine to have some fun with it, but honestly, there's not anything scary about unknowable alien gods anymore. This is largely thanks to movies like this one, where references to Cthulu are supposed to pass for as clever and creative ideas in an original story. Cosmic horror TNA gore movies can be a fine combination, but wow, this is just a nightmare to sit through. Nobody looks like they want to be there, there's almost no energy on screen at any point in the movie, and it's oddly mean-spirited about sexuality for the kind of movie that it is. I'd rather be strapped into a Ludovico chair and forced to watch Rocktopussy for the rest of my life. At least Rocktopussy has a sense of humor.

Trailer—Call Girl of Cthulhu

Directed by Chris LaMartina (WNUF Halloween Special, What Happens Next Will Scare You) and co-written with JImmy George, Call Girl of Cthulu is all about a virginal young man named Carter (David Phillip Carollo) who is looking for the right girl, who he thinks is Riley (Melissa O'Brien), a prostitute with a strange birthmark on her right ass cheek. It turns out that she's being sought by the Church of Starry Wisdom, who see this as a sign that she will become the bride of the Elder God who exists beyond the wall of sleep, Cthulu. Can your protagonist find a way to find true love - or lust - without losing his mind to the tentacled thing that should not be? Beyond being a love letter to H. P. Lovecraft, it's also a movie that combines gore, sexploitation and a willingness to really go there. Would it be too far to have a golden shower that melts a man's face clean off? Monstrous male genitals? Tentacle scenes? Watching this, I get the feeling that everyone in it is still finding makeup and goop and gunk all over themselves even years after they made it. For a movie that starts light, it gets surprisingly dark, too. And emotional. I'm surprised how much I liked this movie, as I kept waiting for it to fall apart, but that's when I realized that LaMartina and George being good at making movies is no accident.

What is your take on cults and demons? And more importantly: do you have problems with humor being added to a horror movie? That question is the most important one of course, since this is using a lot of humor. If that works, will be up to you and your sensibilities. The effects are quite nice. You have a lot of violence, some nudity and a lot madness to endure while watching this. Something that should hopefully come easy to you. If not you will not have any fun watching this ... at all. Low budget as it can be - you have to dig its vibe. You will know early on. Don't blame the movie - if you sat all the way through it and didn't like it.

Do you miss 70's and 80's grindhouse-style horror flicks with some 80's and 90's nihilism, mixed with real creature design and nearly no CGI? Do you miss when *, sex, and blood were in your cheesy horror movies? Do you miss when movies werent afraid to lean into camp? Boy howdy do I got the movie for you!!! I ran across this one on A-Z prime because it was on my recommended watch-list. I didnt check reviews or anything else, as the title was what drew me in. I'm glad I went in blind! I wont give a synopsis, but the movie is exactly what it shows itself to be. A call girl is possibly the catalyst for what brings Cthulhu back into our world. This flick could have been trimmed down a little, but even with its excess, it feels like it revels in it rather than just rushing from plot point to plot point. That is not to say this movie is dull or boring, as it pretty steadily keeps a solid pace for its running time. There IS a lot of what is NOT in current horror movies: Blood, swears, *, sex, violence, animatronics and practical effects, amongst others, are littered throughout this movie in a fantastic way. You can really feel the vision they were going for and they executed it quite well. The actors were not amazing, but they were proficient for this B-style movie. They play their parts well, and a few of them shine. It all mostly works for this script/film. They werent hamming it up, but you could tell all of the actors gave it their all with lots of gusto and enthusiasm. The sound seemed to be taken from the raw audio many times without someone doing sound effects, which is both a blessing and a curse since some sounds do not match the tone they are going for. The locations, for the most part, felt real and natural. The apartment of the main character feels very lived in and real for the two inhabitants. Dont expect mind-blowing CGI or special effects as this is basically a well-done B movie. The practical effects were serviceable, but again, do not expect a $50 million dollar movie here. For instance, the masks of the Cthulhu cultists are just pieces of cloth cut into strips halfway, BUT IT WORKS!!! The cultists masks were mostly creepy. If you've gotten this far and are still curious, give this flick a go!!! Check it out and you should be pleasantly surprised! This was a fun little 'horror' movie with few scares but lots of "ick", as any story about Cthulhu should be. This movie was more enjoyable and fun than most movies I've seen in the 6 years since this was released. I'd give it a 6.5 rounded up to a 7 as I felt this movie deserved the bump-up, with points deducted for some of the unnecessary length and side plots that only exist for the sake of gore. The ending was very 'Stephen King"ish but overall left me wishing for something a little more. As a side note: They do a lot of match-cuts, which at first is refreshing because a lot of movies do not even bother with this anymore and jump from scene to scene, but it becomes a smidge excessive towards the end.

From the start, this looks like it's going to be a not just bad but poorly made movie. But I stuck through it for a few minutes and got some entertainment out of it. Here's the good and the bad: Good: I like the story behind the movie. The acting for the people that took off their tops was better than the acting of the clothed people. I don't know if that's good or bad, but whatever. I liked the glimpse at the kinds of sad pandering that a call girl has to put up with, that was entertaining. The bad guys were interesting to look at. I am impressed with how much freaky can be conveyed with simple costumes. In fact, I know it is low budget but bravo to the costuming for the movie with doing lots with little. Bad: I can't even call it gory. There was a lot of puppetry and fluids being thrown around so I can call it gross but in no way realistic or gory. Even in a movie centered around hookers and strip clubs, there's even extra nudity for no real reason. This stuck out to me, idk why. The sound was really bad in places. I think it's an ok movie, poorly made in spots, badly acted in other spots but I can say I was entertained by the crazy and I thought the ending was decent. To watch this and come away happy you have to have low expectations. Which the name of the film sets you up with.