Trailer—Houseboat Horror

Where do we start with this one? Houseboat Horror is really a love it or hate it film. No doubt it is an extremely poor effort in filmmaking. That fact alone will alert most viewers to never allow this DVD into their player, or even their house. If you are looking for a finely crafted filmic experience, this is definitely not the film for you. I fully accept that fact. However....if you are looking for an awesome, low-brow and incredibly stupid night of unadulterated fun, don't go past this movie! Admittedly, this is not what the filmmakers had in mind when they made this feature (and if they did, they are geniuses!). It is seriously so bad...it's good! Some of the lines are so stupid they are awesome. To sum up: 1. The script is infantile. 2. The quality of the filmmaking is amateur hour. 3. The acting is utterly....well, let's not go there. For these reasons, I loved watching it with a few mates (and plenty of beers!). However, I still can't give it more than a 3.

Before I begin, allow me to refer to the theory of Mr. Charles Montgomery Burns to describe my opinion about this movie. "I don't really understand art, but I know what I hate. And I don't hate this..." I don't really understand the appeal behind this movie. I can think of no more daggy an era than the late 80s in Victoria to locate a film. Secondly, I can't understand why a creditable actor such as Alan (you're off my detail) Dale would lend his talent to this film, having also built the image of a decent family man on "Neighbours". What I enjoy about this movie is the fact that I know no worse. Only recently, I have started becoming interested in cinema, and I have found that there is a demand for perfectionism in all films. If Kevin Smith had released "Clerks" today, he wouldn't have won a solitary award for it. That's modern cinema at work. Only Australia could write, direct, produce and release a film like this. Only Australia could gather some very notable stars and draw from them drawl about "walkabouts" and "bar up". Only Australia would bother. So think of film as an expression of the true Australian psyche, that things don't need to be perfect. That people can and will enjoy even the most pointless and lazy film. That Australia has the most creative and surreal cinema in the world. That John Michael Houson appeared in a movie he would have canned the following day with Bert...

This film is so bad it's good. In fact if you watch it you may bar up. It has some classic Aussie charactors performing roles. Neighbours fans should not miss this with a steller performance from Alan Dale. The wildlife like the yellow belly black snack at the BBQ a highlight.

This absolute trash is based so closely on the Friday the 13th series that is practically a carbon copy, accept for it being an Australian film with people who can't act. Once upon a time a young boy got burnt up accidentally during the filming of a music video at Lake Eildon. Now, a number of years later, the boy is all grown up and taking revenge on anybody who comes to the lake to film a music video. It is cliche-ridden and a waste of time and money, see it only out of curiosity, or if you're an aspiring actor trying to learn how NOT to (not be able to) act. Lead role Alan Dale used to star in the television soap opera Neighbours, but ended up in The X Files - how did THAT happen?

source: Houseboat Horror

This film is utter crap. Yes if you are really drunk then you will have a laugh at how bad it is, but seriously it is definately the worst Australian movie ever made. The only mildly amusing moment was hearing Alan Dale (Jim Robinson from Neighbours) say the F word.

HOUSEBOAT HORROR is an extraordinarily cheap Australian slasher that was shot on video so you can see every dollar that went into the production. It's a very low rent, unambitious copy of the FRIDAY THE 13TH franchise, and when the killer finally appears you can even see the Vorhees influence. Most amusingly of all, for any of us who ever watched NEIGHBOURS in the 1980s, is that Jim Robinson appears! Yes, Alan Dale plays the director of a film shoot involving a rock band that takes place on a luxury houseboat. Before long a killer is messily butchering the cast, but it's all so terribly poor and amateurish that you just won't care.

Why was this film made? Even keeping in mind the generous tax concessions that Australian film investors were given, there can be no reasonable explanation for this film being given the go-ahead. For goodness sakes, the actors cast in this film are Aussie b-grade celebs (not actors, people like John Michael 'Hollywood' Howson, the original drummer from the band in Hey Hey Its Saturday, and the voice-over guy in Countdown. But in saying that, this is still very watchable as long as you give it the brain attention it deserves : none. The script is bad (even for a self-confessed b-grade horror) and the acting and film quality is worse. It often looks as though it is a home movie, but even a home movie has 'realism'. Anyone interested in Australian cinema, please, for the love of God, pretend this film was NEVER made.

In this extremely low-budget ( I've seen home movies made with better production value) Australian utter rip-off of "the Burning" & "Friday the 13th", a band is planning to make a music video while on a houseboat. They're stalked by a serial killer who was burned years before. This movie is even proclaimed to be 'the worst Australian film ever made' in it's DVD promotional material. That's it's only selling point! Complete and utter rubbish in every considerable way. Perhaps a few chuckles here and there for bad movie lovers, but it still made me want to burn out my retinas. Eye Candy: a quick flash of barely existent itty bitty * in a lame shower scene My Grade: F