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Malibu Express

The first time I saw Malibu Express was at the 1985 Cannes Film Festival. Audiences were stunned, and the film received a 10 minute standing ovation. It would go on to win the coveted Palme d'or, proving that director Andy Sidaris is not just a director of his time, but for all time.

Darby Hinton stars as a private eye (Who looks like a cross between Chuck Norris and Tom Selleck) who investigates espionage, murder and all kinds of fun stuff while getting laid lots and lots of times. Malibu Express is probably for what it's worth the best movie from Andy Sidaris on a technical level. Of course in my opinion his only other watchable movie was Hard Ticket To Hawaii, anyway Malibu Express has some okay action sequences (Even though Hinton's martial arts sequences are badly staged) and features tons of nudity which is the film's main selling point. The story is completely plot less and extremely hard to follow mainly due to the fact that none of the plot threads are ever pursued in a way that would make this work as a mystery. In fact the ending merely explains the outcome because the movie forgets to connect the dots earlier. Basically this is a plot less and rather goofy affair which works better as comedy than it does as action or mystery. * * Out of 4-(Fair)

My first exposure to an Andy Sidaris film and it's hardly one to set the box office on fire. Instead what plays out is a cheapjack thriller with some exceptionally wooden acting, listless plotting and cheesy action sequences. Sidaris shoehorns gratuitous nudity into the storyline at every opportunity, and the end result is a low budget mess, nothing more.

Sidaris took his 'Stacey' and remade it with a male lead. Former child star Darby Hinton takes over the hero role this time. He's your typical macho hero too. Lives by the sea. Knows about weapons. Can drive anything. Big blonde dude with an eighties mustache. You know the type. He also beds every loose woman in this film. And that's pretty much every woman in this film. Every 20 minutes it seemed like he scored. The fact that there were a few * stars among the cast helped. Ol' Darby wasn't the ONLY guy getting' lucky here. This had more of a breast * than 'Stacey.' For that alone, most men will dig it. But this film was as realistic as your average A-Team episode. That's not a bad thing mind you, just don't forget.

Although this is just like the other Sadaris movies, with lots of T and A (and I'm not complaining about that), this one is way better than the others. Here's why: Darby Hinton. He is actually engaging, and he gives a fine, believable performance. For the ladies, he's exceptionally good looking, and built like a Greek God. He should have gone on to better things. Sybil Danning. She's always impressed me with her acting, and boy does she look sensational! I'd watch any film she's featured in. Good story. It's well-above the usual Sadaris films. This film has one major gaff in it. I don't recall ever seeing a movie in which a guy gets stabbed in the gut, and his wound is revealed before he's ever stabbed! What's with that? Funny, though. Sadaris should be able to "fix" that problem in a matter of minutes, with modern-day tech skills. I have this DVD, and wouldn't take anything for it. Well worth repeat viewing! Two thumbs up, even with the gaff!

And while this one is far from good, it still stands out in the Sidaris universe. Seeing almost all of their movies, I can tell you, this is by far the best. From here it goes downhill. Do what I didn't. Quit while you're ahead.

Andy Sidaris film simply made to show off the "talents" of numerous Playmates and Penthouse Pets. He then tries to mask the playmates by creating a murder mystery to keep the flow of the film going. This has become an ongoing trend in many of Sidaris' later films, which are kind of fun. Hinton plays a Magnum P.I.-wannabee who finds himself in a murder and in the clutches of sexy Sybil Danning. There's plenty of Playmates, sex and mystery to keep an audience entertained.