I'm a yank but spent a lot of time in the UK and in similar venues as this one. Great parody of small business where cliches abound but cliches create laughs. loved the dumb blonde who only answers the phone if she's not filing her nails (can't call for help if dumb blond won't answer) The whole rich people in mansions will pay more (absolutely gorgeous footage of mansion house aerial & other) but we'll do a crappy job anyway lends a back & forth ok so they're all a bit unsympathetic) Shout out to 7 foot Phil Martin for always adding the "looming" factor- no camera tricks needed. Fun scenes in places like the kitchen where you can play the continuity game. Fantastic tunnel fun. I'll leave it at that, and attention paid to "wait why is...oh yeah he padlocked it" games Hilarious scenes of incompetent workers with the main contractor increasingly frustrated. Nice sudden 'what the?' scares without needing to rely on "call it in jump scares" Beautiful tasty Gore. This girl loves me good tool use! I consistently laughed hard. I'm glad that the original reception the 'short film received allowed this full one to blossom albeit at a trim under 90 minutes.

My hobby of writing user-comments is made significantly easier when a film's title and the entire plot synopsis are identical! This film is about a cannibalistic family clan versus two minivans of carpet fitting colleagues, and there's not a whole lot I can add to that. The cannibal camp exists of five hillbilly baboon-brothers, including a Jason Statham lookalike and a guy with a goofy 80s mullet, and as usual the mother is even more deranged than the boys. The carpet fitters are four dim-witted guys and one tough babe, but their chances are next to none in the ancient country mansion full of subterranean tunnels and human meat pie recipes. Luckily, I watched "Cannibals and Carpet Fitters" at 3am in the morning at a chock-full theater during the Brussels International Fantastic Film Festival. If it weren't for the stimulating ambiance during the annual horror-night, I probably would have been a lot less tolerant regarding the unoriginal plot and the clichéd nature & behavior of the villainous cannibal family. The bloodshed & gore is plentiful and overall satisfying (although the axe head-splitting scene at the very beginning of the film is never topped) and you gradually even develop some sympathy for the lead characters, notably for the duo Colin and Dean. This is the first full-length film of director James Bushe after a handful of interesting looking shorts. He definitely has the potential to become a good genre director, but then he'll have to put a bit more effort and depth into the scripts.

Cannibals and Carpet Fitters I put this film on, as I like some horror and some horror comedy, like The Cottage, so I was not expecting this to be as gruesome as it was but it was done with very black humour. Great performances, you actually feel sorry for the carpet fitters and don't want them to go to this house. It is a good storyline with plenty of twists, I didn't see a few of them coming. Great directing and has some similarities to The Cottage. Unlike a lot of the gore/horror films, this one you will watch more than once as I am sure there will be some bits you miss. One more thing, I have gone off pies!!!!!!! Robert Meader

Stumbled on this on amazon and got to say the acting is a little cheesy at times but every floor layer i know are exactly like these guys though never met a female fitter. story is good the comedic value is well worth the watch so i say watch it its brilliant and funny

The story of 5 carpet installers, or carpet Fitters if you're British, go to a country mansion in the middle of nowhere to work and find a murderous old woman and her four low IQ ( handicapped? ) sons. About every 10 minutes, you are rewarded with a nice kill: spike to the Head, decapitation, or a head split open with an axe. The acting is okay. But does not feel committed. So it's feels like everyone is throwing their lines away. . I do not believe in being a logic police when it comes to movies. But no one here behaves as a normal person would in these situations. For example, in the old house, they find blood and severed fingers and toes. But they still stick around to chit chat. This sort of thing happens so often that it ruins any sense of danger. As with any movie, even a dark comedy like this, we really have to believe that they believe they are in danger. Litter are some funny bits and it's not amateurish. Maybe a step or two above that. So you might like it

Simple comedy done better before and not as dark or funny as it thinks.

Some are comparing this to "Shaun of the dead" and "The cottage". Doing so you are giving good, and intelligent funny films a bad rep. This can't way up to those flicks by a milestone. This is basically a poor comedy with some cool effects.

Very cheap comedy and not funny at all I thought by its title it could be something hilarious but unfortunately it wasn't

I give it 7 only because its got good practical fx, but not as much as alot of films these days. In a world of Saw and walking dead we look for more as often as we can haha. This was a very well written film i loved the over baring mother and the wrong turn style of inbred sons , still wondering if mom cut there tounges out. Anyway as they state in the other reviews its a family that attacks 2 mini vans of carpet crews. Lol What id like to point out is the humor wasnt shawn of the dead crazy. A lil more mild and it had great suspense and the Monty python style humor. You'll find yourself yelling at the characters by the end. I sure as hell did. Also all the acting was very well done. All lines were quick delivers - all in all if it had a little more blood id give it an 8! Check this one out. Give it up for one hell of a film Director: James Bushe did one great job as did Richard Lee O'Donnell for the great screenplay. Cheers & kudos

Cannibals and Carpet Fitters I put this film on, as I like some horror and some horror comedy, like The Cottage, so I was not expecting this to be as gruesome as it was but it was done with very black humour. Great performances, you actually feel sorry for the carpet fitters and don't want them to go to this house. It is a good storyline with plenty of twists, I didn't see a few of them coming. Great directing and has some similarities to The Cottage. Unlike a lot of the gore/horror films, this one you will watch more than once as I am sure there will be some bits you miss. One more thing, I have gone off pies!!!!!!! Robert Meader