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Wow...bad, predictable writing and terrible acting are the headliners in this remake of the the original movie. The ridiculous need to focus on checkboxes, and demonizing certain people is laughable and pathetic at the same time. The lack of original storytelling or any memorable charachters really brings this down a notch. The generic low quality kills and poor effects add to an already sub par outing. The whole clown thing is so unoriginal and so early 90s. Another example of a decent movie being turned into a predictable and uninspiring remake, and missing on all marks. Do yourself a favor watch The Terrifier series of films to see how a slasher movie should be done.

The original "Terror Train" is actually a pretty forgettable slasher if you ask me. It seems to be well remembered though, and I wonder if that's because it stars the undisputed scream queen, Jamie Lee Curtis. I'm surprised it took so long for them to remake it, therefore. Everything gets a remake and a reboot and a "requel" in this day and age. The phrase that there is nothing new under the sun has never been more apparently true than it is in the world of film in the new millennium. There are worse remakes out there than this "Terror Train". The late Tobe Hooper's take on "Toolbox Murders", no great shakes itself, was painfully bad. However it is hard to think of a movie more forgettable than this. The only part of the movie I liked was one amusing character, who I thought might be like the Jamie Kennedy character in "Scream", but then the idiot filmmakers killed him off. Other than that I just wasn't able to pay attention to "Terror Train". It never interested me at all.

This updated version of Terror Train sticks pretty close to the original script. There's slight updates indicating why no one can call for help in the age of cell phones. The cast of unsuspecting college students is annoying. They don't have redeemable qualities, and I don't think one was likable. That leaves the viewer rooting for the dark magician, who makes up for the lack of charisma from the other characters. Tim Rozon, from Schitt's Creek plays the magician, and literally, he brings enough to the table that you hope he's the villain, only this time, the villain is more like Robin Hood, saving the audience from the other dreadful characters. While this film is not a must see, Tim Rozon proves his magnetic presence wasn't just a fluke in Schitt's Creek. He could read from the dictionary, and every syllable he recites would make viewers sigh.

I surprisingly enjoyed this remake being that the original Terror Train is a favorite of mine. This one follows the original extremely close, but adds an interesting twist in the storyline towards the end. I kind of had my suspicions on who the killer was, but I ended up being wrong until I figured it out at the last minute. The clown mask was definitely a creepy and effective choice as well. The killings were done pretty neat as well, the original didn't show as much violence or gore as this one did. With it being set on Halloween, I was hoping they would of decorated the train more to look like a Halloween funhouse, would of added a more eerie tone to it. Otherwise not a bad remake at all.

Dull supposed horror movie. I didn't realise this was a remake until afterwards so it fits that it is bad as with 99% of remakes. The acting is nothing special although I've saw much worse. The characters are obnoxious and unlikeable so you're rooting for the killer. Who can't despatch them quick enough. The political correctness is of course peppered throughout the film. They must not be able to get financed unless this crap is included despite the fact that this is a proven turnoff for moviegoers. I'll have to watch the original and compare for myself and I do hope that it's better than this rubbish.

Terror Train (2022) is a Tubi Original that I recently watched on...Tubi. The storyline follows a fraternity and sorority on a train ride filled with partying, dancing, drinking, smoking, a magician...and a killer. As the killing begins the bodies are well hidden, until they're not. The group that finds the first body tries to sound the alarm 🚨 but no one believes them and the killing continues until enough bodies pile up where it's impossible to not pay attention. Who is killing everyone and why? This movie is directed by Philippe Gagnon (Sometimes the Good Kill) and stars Robyn Alomar (Riot Girls), Tim Rozon (Flashpoint), Matias Garrido (1 Up), Nadine Bhabha (Letter Kenny), Corteon Moore (Slasher) and Mary Walsh (Happy Place). I'm going to start with the reviews are too harsh on this picture and in all honesty, this is about as good as the original film (which I only scored a 6-6.5). The costumes and magic tricks in this are pretty cool. Loved both the lizard and clown costumes. The kills scenes are pretty average but the blood splatter is solid. I enjoyed the opening clown kill before the train leaves. The acting is on par with the original and just okay. The circumstances are fun and the movie unfolds well. The dialogue is very average and the magician is extra cheesy, but so was Copperfield in the original. Overall, as I previously referenced I would score this about the same as the original and give it a 6/10. It's an above average addition to the genre that's worth watching once but I wouldnt go too far out of my way to see it.

Makes the same mistake so many reimaginings do. It follows the source material too faithfully and in doing so, fails to differentiate itself in any meaningful way. The character names, the storyline, and even some of the costumes are carried over from the previous incarnation. It's fun to see nods to the original in a remake but they tend to work better when peppered in, rather than constant and impossible not to notice. The problems with this reboot extend beyond the filmmakers' desire to retread familiar ground. The characters are also uninspired and there isn't really a standout player to inspire audience investment. This version of Alana (played this time by Robyn Alomar) is kind of spineless. She comes across as a very kind and considerate person but she spends so much of her time doubting herself and apologizing that it's hard to warm to her. She's likable enough on a human level but she doesn't have enough backbone to effectively function as a protagonist. If she doesn't have faith in herself, what reason does the audience have to get behind her?

Now, I am not familiar with the 1980s horror movie "Terror Train" from director Roger Spottiswoode, so just how much of a copy and paste job director Philippe Gagnon did of the original I have no idea. In fact, I didn't even know about the 1980s movie prior to stumbling upon this 2022 movie and finding out that it was a remake of an older movie. Writers Ian Carpenter and Aaron Martin put together an adequate storyline and plot here. But of course, I am not familiar with the 1980s movie, so I don't know how different or alike the two movies are. So I cannot compare this remake to the original. And with that being said, then I will say that I enjoyed this 2022 movie for what it was. Sure, it wasn't a groundbreaking horror movie, but it provided me with adequate entertainment. The cast ensemble in "Terror Train" was good, and I was pleasantly surprised to see Tim Rozon on the cast list, and he was quite good in the movie. Just a shame that he wasn't given more screen time. For a horror movie, then director Philippe Gagnon didn't exactly break any formulas or go up and beyond what you would expect from a movie such as "Terror Train". But it made for an adequately entertaining enough movie, and that was good enough for me. My rating of "Terror Train" lands on a five out of ten stars.

A lot of slashers came out in 1980 and maybe Terror Train isn't as fondly remembered by some, but for those that are fans -- like, well, your author -- it works because you truly feel as if you're on a train. You also get some incredible scenery and a killer that keeps shifting disguises, all while the film navigates themes that most movies don't touch forty years later, including hidden love between male friends and a transgendered character that to talk more of would be a spoiler. Quebec-born director Philippe Gagnon -- well, Terror Train is from Canada -- is working from a new script by Ian Carpenter and Aaron Martin, writers for the Netflix series Slasher. Everything starts just like the original, as Kenny (Noah Parker) is pranked by Doc (Matias Garrido) and gets away with it. By pranked, I mean that he ends up in bed with a dead body. Alana (Robyn Alomar) feels like the gang should confess, but instead the next three years of college go by and find them passengers on a tourist train that conveniently goes through a zone with no signal. There's still a Mitchy (Emma Elle Paterson). A magician (Tim Rozon) is on board. And yes, the clown gets killed early, just like the first movie. But does it have the magic of the 1980 classic? The killer only switches costumes here a few times, sticking to that clown costume, while the movie switches holidays from New Year's Eve to Halloween. This also gender swaps Carne the conductor to be an older woman played by Mary Walsh. All of these decisions seem like changes for change's sake; I have no issue with a female conductor but I really miss the steady guiding hand of Ben Johnson and the way he seemed like someone who genuinely cared about protecting his passengers. The lack of costume changes points to a script that doesn't understand what worked so well; a clown is scary, but not knowing who the killer could be is much more sinister. Another misstep is that in the original, Alana seemed to be someone trying to atone for her past sins, but also had enough of an edge that you believed that she'd go along with the prank. This version seems so unsure of herself that one wonders how she'll survive. The CGI train scenes and kills take away two other things so great about the first film, one that was actually shot on a train car to give the simulation that we were moving down the rails in the snow. This never feels like it takes place anywhere other than a room. And the weirdest part is there's a Phantasm-style song that sounds so derivative that I was sure that they just followed the example of the Shaw Brothers and stole it. This trip down the tracks follows the original pretty close until we switch tracks for the last ten minutes. Some folks may not miss David Copperfield and the long dance numbers. I totally do. The original is silly in many ways, but has some really frightening moments and unlike so many slashers, feels like it could happen. Yet I wonder: who is this for? Anyone who loves the first one is going to be irked before it even begins. Is a train relevant for today's audience? Oh well. I guess the rights were up and someone was going to make it. As always, we still have the original.