Amityville Scarecrow

Moviecut—Amityville Scarecrow

This film makes no sense. Firstly they are in England driving English cars to the campsite I find an old barn has old English cars, the two female main characters are attempting to speak in a mild American accent which is not working. The two daughters run for their lives. One of them calls 911 for the police somebody answers using an extremely bad American accent. Eventually the police show up the police officer is an American police officer with an extremely terrible American accent. Clearly this woman is not American if they was in England, why would I be calling 911 and why if they are in England with American police shut up. To make this film makes no sense it's ridiculous. The acting is terrible. The scenes when is sisters were crying. You could tell that they were not because there was no tears for me. This film is not a horror. It's a low budget piece of rubbish. I would not recommend this film to anyone at all this is why I have given it three stars.

This is a new low. Even for me. Virtually impossible for this review to contain spoilers because this film already came out spoiled. In this one, there is a camp ground on the site of the original Amityville house... only for some reason it's in the UK now. I've no idea. I presume this is a different timeline to Amityville Asylum (one of the three worst films ive seen in my life) where an asylum was apparently built on the site of the original Amityville house. Getting into the film itself... while the photography is actually pretty good the dialogue is as generic as you can imagine. Virtually every single death happens off screen. The scarecrow costume is an over-the-counter job. The score is very obviously free stock music. A "police officer" turns up whose costume is basically what you'd dress your kid in if they told you 15 minutes before school that it was "dress like a cop day" and you had to make a costume from household goods. The acting is (in the most part) a genuine embarrassment. The cynic in me is 90% sure this film was only made as an excuse for the production to get an exemption from strict quarantine and lockdown restrictions in the UK - and have a good old get-together with their pals while the rest of the country couldnt even visit family. The chance of them intending to make this as a piece of lasting art to entertain future generations is zero. It's only by virtue of the fact that I'm a weird freak, who deliberately seeks out terrible and extremely low budget films, that this ISN'T the worst film I've ever seen.

Is Amityville Cornfield a better title? I don't know. Nor can I comprehend how one family can have so many unmatching accents, but if I have learned anything, it's don't watch sixty Joe D'Amato movies in a week followed by three Amityville movies because you start to see the world as a very weird place. Don't follow my path. Tina and Mary are sisters who can't agree on what to do with the land their mother gave them when she died, land that could never grow corn and was probably haunted and will surely end everyone's lives. Then again, Tina did steal Mary's husband, so you can understand why they are fighting. There's a scarecrow that gets possessed by the spirit of a child-touching handyman so...you know, I guess there's an Elm Street in Amityville. That said, the scarecrow looks pretty scary in a few scenes, which is more than you can usually expect from these films.

Now, the word "Amityville" has been a synonym for a low budget, dubious produced movie of questionable entertainment value, yet I keep returning here to watch, hoping for this particular one time is that one time where an "Amityville" movie is a good "Amityville" movie. And thus, I opted to sit down and watch the 2021 movie "Amityville Scarecrow" from writer Shannon Holiday and director Jack Peter Mundy. I have to be bluntly honest and say that I harbored zero expectations really for this movie, so writer Shannon Holiday and director Jack Peter Mundy had every chance to impress, bedazzle, and most importantly, entertain me. However they failed to do that. "Amityville Scarecrow" was a slow paced movie driven by an almost non-existing narrative. So it was insanely difficult to find anything worthwhile or enjoyable here as the movie trotted on at a pace that would put a snail to shame. The acting performances in the movie were fairly wooden and not overly convincing. It felt staged and amateurish at best. There were some familiar faces on the cast list though with Kate Sandison and Nicola Wright, but that is only because I watch way too many low budget B-movies. For a horror movie then "Amityville Scarecrow" was a swing and a miss. There was nothing scary here at all, unless you consider the insanely slow pacing of the narrative as being scary. So if you enjoy horror movies, you will not be in for a particular treat here, should you opt to watch "Amityville Scarecrow", which I don't recommend you do - some of us suffered through this, so you don't have to. Visually then "Amityville Scarecrow" was not impressive either. My rating of "Amityville Scarecrow" lands on a two out of ten stars.

Unwatchable.....total garbage. Just another stupid made for TV terrible movie. Acting is the worst possible. I was hoping the scarecrow would end up killing all those whining idiot women. Avoid this trash at all costs. Not even worth a 1 rating.

AMITYVILLE SCARECROW is one of those ulta-cheap British indie horrors that seem to be doing the rounds these days, and of course it has nothing to do with the perennial American film franchise that's turned up a few gems along the way. So another cheap cash-in, in other words. This one's about a family doing up an old cornfield but finding themselves haunted by a scarecrow that goes around butchering people off-screen. It's dire stuff indeed, too dark, too plodding, badly acted and written by someone who has no idea how real-life people really communicate. As a horror film, it's a complete failure. Par for the course, in other words...

What can I say? Geography may not be my best subject, but I thought Long Island was in the states, not across the pond. The cover art was nice. The acting was meh. I have seen better, scarier movies on Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon. This was a bad, glorified Lifetime Network movie with all the back and forth drama between the characters. And this is not a dig on Lifetime, I have seen much better movies on that channel. The only thing I liked the most about this movie is when the end credits rolled.