Kounterfeit

Kounterfeit

I wonder what dimwit came up with the idea of mis-spelling the title of their film, probably in the mistaken belief that it added an aura of cool to their otherwise ordinary product? Perhaps it was the makers of this routine effort. If it wa$ 3hey've got a lot to 4n5w3r 4or. This is one of those genre types where the good bad guy locks horns with the bad good guys for ill-gotten gains which none of them deserve. The 'hero' here is Bruce Payne, a lower-league action figure with a blonde pony tail and a paunch whose bad make up job is shown to bad effect in too many scenes. He plays a reformed villain who isn't so reformed that he isn't prepared to dip his toes back in the water for the sake of a four million dollar pay-off. His ditzy pal has stumbled upon a horde of counterfeit dollars and, not having the street-smarts to convert it into real cash, he turns to our man Bruce to do the deed for him. Of course the deal goes wrong and Bruce and his pal find themselves pursued by both cops and robbers as they endeavour to disentangle themselves from the mess they've created. The plot line sounds a lot more interesting than it really is. Payne is OK, but he's strictly minor league and would be out of his depth in a movie with a decent budget. The biggest flaw – amongst many – in the plot is his friendship with the buffoonish Hopscotch (Andrew Hawkes). In real life, a guy like Frankie would have jettisoned Hopscotch the moment he first misbehaved, but Frankie just shrugs off the fool's stupid behaviour with a patient smile and thoughtful nod of his head. Swank wasn't a big star when this was made, but she is clearly the best thing about this film, although her boyish figure makes it difficult for her to be convincing as a would-be undercover pole dancer. This is one of those films that exists only so that you and a mate can rip it apart over a couple of beers.

I write very few reviews for this site. I write an arts/culture column for a bi-monthly periodical. The point is that I only write about things that elicit a strong personal reaction in me. Unfortunately, this film elicited a very negative personal reaction. Very bad script, production, direction, and acting. Hillary Swank was the only reason I rented this, she is actually not bad but I feel sorry for her to be in this obviously released direct-to-video piece of raw garbage. It is like a bad 80s flick so imagine my surprise to discover it was actually made in the mid- to late-90s. All of the characters were unrealistic, one-dimensional, and weakly developed. This was John Asher's debut as a director when his previous most memorable role was as Gary on the "Weird Science" TV series. He should not have strayed from in front of the camera. I wish someone would put warning labels on movies like this so that you do not waste your money or more importantly--your time.

I watched this movie and was disappointed in the end when Vic was seen as a bad cop and Colleen went off in the sunset with the guy who really is not a good person in all. It should have been that Vic was undercover and he was the one who went off with the girl not the other way around. The ending was not what I expected in this movie especially with Rob Stewart and Hilary Swank. It could have been written better and the ending also should have been different. Rob Stewart has a fan following and I'm sure they were not happy with the role he picked. I know some of his future roles are much better hopefully he gets a lead part again in a TV series.

I am not sure exactly what constitutes a spoiler on this site, whether it is giving away key plot points, describing scenes in precise detail or giving away the ending but I really don't care at this point either. I have always known I had a unique destiny, that someday the people of Earth would need me, and if I can save even one soul from experiencing the pain of this pointless cinematic purgatory I will bear my blacklisted fate with stoic dignity and count my time on this planet as having been worthwhile. This movie strings along bad clichés like so many Christmas lights employed in an excessive display of holiday cheer. The only one it may have missed was a saxophone solo. After a lead in, the credits and a conversation which serves no other purpose than to provide clumsy exposition and insultingly unsubtle set up is gun play which could have only been choreographed by special needs children with very little concern with their appointed task. The firefight takes place in what looks to be a twenty foot by ten room which is drawn out long enough to ensure you cannot miss how little sense it makes even as it is being depicted. Follow the trajectory of the guns you can see, note the proximity the bodies lie in, count the eleventy billion shots you hear traded between the men even after they have died. . .and if after having gazed deep within this abyss, this aborted mass, of poor writing, bad acting and worse directing, you can find the strength to continue watching this ill conceived excuse for cinema, ask yourself this question: Why

Some what unbelievable. Several bad cops try to pin a counterfit operation on the one good cop who is killed early on. Then a brother, in a star wars disguise no less, kills his baby brother in a truncated chase scene; aw come on, give me a break. The dead good cop's sister tries to find her brother's real killer only to discover its her ex-lover who is a bad cop. So she cuddles up to and makes out with the guy who she first thought killed her brother, but who turns out to be a good guy and they live happily ever after on the $3 mil in real and counterfit money that every body was after in the beginning. If any of this makes sense, you are obviously retarded. Be glad you missed it.

Hilary Swank's name on the box caught my attention at Blockbuster, and she is the main reason to view this one. It is a routine low-budget crime movie with various bad guys and cops chasing suitcases of real and counterfeit money, with Hilary as the wild card. And, gee, do you think one of the cops might be dirty? The screenplay is neither good nor bad, the characters are almost credible, and the sex/language/violence are mild for the genre. Hilary gets a lot more screen time than her billing suggests, and, yes, she can play a woman as well as a boy. She won't be ashamed of this one when she's famous.