Scottish Mussel

Scottish Mussel

source: Scottish Mussel

I recorded this a while ago and finally got round to viewing it. What a lovely film. Beautiful scenery, comedy, a gorgeous otter. Simply superb. I just love Scottish humour and it was one of those films that leave you feeling good after watching it.

There's quite a long history of whimsical Scottish (and especially Glasgow-based) comedies attractive enough to have tempted me to give this one a try too. It's weakish, but more or less makes the grade, even though I'll never find organised crime (even small-scale) or cannabis-growing (even small-scale) funny. So what we are (I was) left with is a trio of Scottish ne'erdowells always on the look out for making some beer-money illegally, and now tempted to try and earn by exploiting the already-endangered freshwater mussels that still inhabit certain Scottish rivers ... for their pearls of course . This is a true enough conservation story, and so enigmatic that it deserves a comedy to be made out of it. So in steps Talulah Riley as Director and star (appearing as "Beth" somebody who runs a conservation centre in the Highlands). Now let's face it, if you're anything like me, you'll quite possibly think Riley is quite ludicrously attractive - albeit in a very specific way. As a matter of fact, I also like her voice and the way she delivers her lines. So frankly I was well in with this film, which - shall we say - does the best it can in this regard with the assets at its disposal. While two of the small-time Glasgow crooks play well enough, but are nobody you've ever heard of, the third one is the familiar Martin Compston (of "Line of Duty" fame), who swots up (far from perfetly) on rare species in order to: a) flirt with the hot Beth, and b) find the locations of colonies of mussels for his friends to check out for pearls (and hence wealth). If you think that's a really underhand combination of things to do, well, so does Beth when she finds out. So Compston as Ritchie has to do something REALLY big to make amends (even then surprising that Beth would go for that, but - hey - this is a dumb movie). Anyway, this Ritchie does in fine style at the end of the film, which brings together and mobilises other eccentric characters we've seen at different points in the film, including Harry Enfield as Bill, whose main claim to fame is that he'll fry up pretty much anything at his mobile fish and chip place; as well as Ritchie's old headmaster in the shape of the ever-welcome James Dreyfus. In the meanwhile we get a bit or romantic stuff, a factoid or two about how awful it is that species are heading for extinction (indeed so), an injured otter, eccentric and funnyish comedy on various themes, and the odd moment of pretty scenery. And of course the divine Talulah. Perhaps it's enough if you've got a spare 90 minutes, and especially if you're going on to write a thesis about Scottish comedies (other examples of which are well - most likely even more - worth watching).

As a Scot, many of the non-native attempts at Scottish accents were challenging at first (for my money Russell Kane's was the best). Then I just tried to enjoy the film and not worry about how the casting came about as the non-Scottish cast are all enjoyable screen presences. With that caveat, enjoying the film was easy. The accents improved as the movie progressed and the character dynamics were very sweet. The location scout(s) did a great job and, as a Scot, the whole ceilidh idea was entirely believable. This is not the tab A into slot B stereotypical "shortbread tin" depiction of Scotland that some other reviews have suggested but if you're not from Scotland then I suspect you'll enjoy the film even more. The soundtrack reads as a bit lazy but works great with the film and they've bagged some great tracks from some brilliant singer-songwriters. Of course it would be nice to have more Scottish talent on screen but I'm glad that the movie exists as it is rather than not having been able to have been made at all. Talulah Riley's direction is confident and never appears to be vain regarding the character she plays and I look forward to her joining a very long list of great female directors.

I just watched this for the 1st time. Over an hour of time that I'll never get back. Harry Enfield & Joe Thomas's attempt at a Scottish accent was as cringy and embarrassing as listening to a person in the next cubicle taking a sh**e. Talulah Riley, I mean if that's acting then the general public are all in the wrong job and should start attending auditions more often because if she can do it, anyone can. Big fan of Martin Compston but watching him in this was painful. Did no-one watch this back before releasing it? Horrifically bad.

Absolutely terrible and actually painful to watch. Even as far as low budget B movies goes this is bad. Joe Thomas should never take a role where a Scottish accent is required again.

Sorry but Talulah just isn't an actress. Very wooden performance although this is the first film I have seen her in. Very contrived movie that drags along.

A bit of an eco romcom set in the Scottish highlands, except the romance is minimal the eco is no more than a plot device. It's a fun movie though with enough laughs to eclipse the thin storyline. The cast are quite charming though, even Joe Thomas and his diabolical attempt at a Scottish accent - which isn't the worst by a long way. Unfortunately Talulah Riley's acting comes across as rigid and forced especially alongside the effortless Compston who breezes through the lightweight script. Some good comic turns from Thomas, Paul Branigan and the supporting cast.