7/10

V/H/S/85-1080P

V/H/S/85-720P

V/H/S/85-360P

V/H/S/85-480P

Absolutely dreadful, I love the vhs movie franchise but this one is terrible. Not one of the clips had my full attention during watching this film and it's such a shame! The acting is bad, the stories are bad, most of them don't really make and sense and left me feeling more confused by the time they finished. The previous vhs movies always left me gobsmacked and wanting more from each of them, the stores were always great and shocking, this one however I couldn't wait for it to be finished, I sat waiting for the stores to get better and they just did not! Save your money and your time and find something else to watch!

And I say that as somebody who has watched 100s of hours of awful found footage movies, since the Last Broadcast. Found footage horror movies are my jam, and I can't get enough of them. Even the bad ones. But some, I can't make it through because even I have my limits. Unfortunately, after enjoying most VHS movies before this one, I couldn't even manage to make it through the final 2. Which is a shame because I'm led to believe that the final segment is the strongest one. Maybe I'll go back and watch it seperately another time but over an hour of pure, self-indulgent garbage was all I could take for one night. The third segment in particular was absolutely atrocious. If you plan on watching this, avoid the 3rd short.

V/H/S 85 started off incredibly disappointing, with a story about 7 campers that ends abruptly. I didn't realize it at the time of course but it pays off in an okayish way later, I don't know why they felt the need to pace it the way they did though, it was a very strange choice. The 2nd story was borderline incomprehensible and one of the more tedious experiences of watching any piece of media recently. So needless to say by the time the third short came around I wasn't exactly excited, and ho boy was this one bad. Incredibly predictable, incredibly tepid and incredibly lame, I wish I knew of a better way to describe watching what can be loosely considered a gorier tron, but that's all I can muster about that trainwreck. Luckily during the intermissions of these we are feed the wrap around story in small bits, which is quite a captivating and interesting setup. This is probably the most "Classic" v/h/s segment, and honestly I missed stuff like this. The last 2 movies, and this one in particular seemed to have a fondness for shock value, rather then creepy monster stories like the v/h/s films of old, this was a nice refreshing throwback, and a with one of the best payoffs I have ever seen, seriously. It made me laugh out loud. And finally we get to Scott Derickson's short. This is without a doubt my favorite short of the film, and possibly my favorite v/h/s segment of all time. You can really tell that Scott Derickson went into this with an idea, and pulls it off perfectly. I also got major Sinister 8mm footage vibes. Scott, I beg of you, please expand this segment into a feature film. Needless to say, I think the wraparound and the last segment saved this movie in a big way, this was almost the worst v/h/s movie I had ever watched, but Scott Derickson and David Bruckner saved this film in a big way. Bravo, boys.

In a way that I can't even imagine, this one is worse than the last one!! The good idea was lost in the second film. The franchise is irretrievably doomed. The first film, although tiring, had the advantage of being something new. After that, it was always more of the same. But this one can be worse, much worse than the previous ones. It's as if the overall quality was intentionally reduced, as if the direction and production decided to make a really bad film. This is completely unnecessary. Tiring, nauseating, terrible, TERRIBLE quality of images and interpretations. If you have the opportunity to watch it, miss it.

While this isn't "part 85," who knew there were now 6 proper V/H/S anthologies and even two spinoffs? Well, I did, except I just learned of the spinoffs I'll need to check out now. So odd I love this franchise when I almost exclusively hate Found Footage (FF) movies. Even here, as much as I liked this sixth chapter, they still had that horrible FF trope of making up excuse after excuse - mostly without reason, for why they had to carry the camera when they're most certainly close to death. V/H/S/85 started off just okay, but not bad. As it progressed and started to expand and explain, it did get much better. Here are my thoughts on the segments featured within and not in any particular order: "Total Copy" - Not bad, The Stand vibes - great finale. "Dreamkill" - Really liked this one, but wish it was a feature length. "TKNOGD" - GORY, nice little short. Reminds me why I don't go see one-person shows. "No Wake" - BEST of the Bunch. I thought was just okay at first, but just wait. "God of Death" - Least of the Bunch, but still enjoyable. This is where the FF tropes were at their worst. Overall, not perfect, but surprisingly gory with great special/practical effects and holy moly did they capture 1985 remarkably well. Loved the blending of 1985 TV & culture. I lived that year and remember it well. This could've been made then, which really shows how well this was made. Recommended. You don't need to be a fan of the series, though it does help with understanding the structure. That said, I think they have been evolving and improving the technique/gimmick with each entry. *** Final Thoughts: It would be almost impossible to rank the V/H/S segments unless I did a marathon...which isn't a bad idea. And I DO need to rewatch both V/H/S94 & 99 as I barely remember them. Here are the six, ranked best to worst, with no spinoffs yet: 1. V/H/S (I do know, the first segment of this first movie is my personal favorite of the entire series: "Amateur Night.") 2. V/H/S/2 3. V/H/S/99 4. V/H/S/85 5. V/H/S/94 6. V/H/S: Viral.